Whinging Wednesday: Weird News

Some may argue that American cuisine is non-existent and doesn’t hold a candle to the rest of the world.  Well, it seems not everyone feels that way as many cultures and nations have been trying to emulate American cuisine.  Whether the attempts are all out fail or a decent attempt at the original, it seems the natives are in love!

While Malaysians have Pizza Hut, their pizza of choice seems to be the complete opposite of what we like in this country.  The Super Pan Pizza features chunks of chicken AND chicken loaf, caramelized pineapples with two different sauces, cheese and “Garlic Napoli,” rolled into the crust.  The end result is that the innards of each slice come oozing out with every bite!

Um, nom?

Hungry yet?  Well hold on to your butts because we’re headed to Baghdad where the Iraqis rock the casbah scarfing down knock offs of American food!  With American troops leaving the area and bases closing down a big void opened up for those missing Western fare, however savvy entrepreneurs have stepped up and have presented to the masses knock off dining establishments like Florida Fried Chicken, Mr. Potato, Pizza Boat, Burger Friends and KFG or Kentucky Family Group (which sounds to me more like one of those Christian fundie groups who get vocal over things like gay marriage than a chicken joint). One burger joint, called Burger Joint actually, has gone the extra step of surfing burgers and milkshakes while music by Frank Sinatra serenades diners and often has to assist customers understand their foreign offerings like milkshakes and cookies. The owners of Burger Joint also own a Turkish chain called Pizza Pizza and intends to a new sandwich shop called Subz.

The Home of the Shawarma

Of course China is one of the countries who refuse to jump on the American cuisine bandwagon. Instead choosing to perfect their own culinary contribution while embracing technological advances by creating noodle slicing robots!  Restaurateur Cui Runguan is selling thousands of these robots which slice noodles into pots of boiling water called the Chef Cui. Each robot costs $2000 compared to the annual Chinese chef’s salary of $4,700 and Runguan has already sold 3,000 robots. Although these creepy little metal guys have faster and better knife skills, without taste buds can robots really be a fit substitute for a chef?

“Iron Cook, eh? I can’t lose. I’m 30% iron!”

While many parts of the world have embraced famous American foods I urge my fellow Americans who haven’t yet done so to check out the rich and flavorful cuisines cultures around the world have developed and perfected.  Not only is it an awesome experience for all 5 senses, it will prove a fantastic out should Peta and groups like it actually succeed in growing meat in labs!

Chow for now!

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Whinging Wednesday: Stupid News Edition (NSFW)

Happy Hump Day folks!

This week’s Whinging Wednesday features some annoying and downright idiotic goings on in the hospitality world.  First up, apparently the Swedish Chef is Public Enemy #1 in Sweden!

According to The Atlantic Wire, Swedes absolutely HATE the otherwise beloved muppet with the fire of 1000 suns, finding him “stereotypical, possibly offensive, certainly bumbling, and probably not even Swedish.”  Apparently, the people of Sweden having been stewing over this hatred of the felt Chef for 37 years mostly thanks to American tourists constantly asking what they think of him.  Also, his accent is wrong and he should actually be called the Norwegian chef! FYI, the inspiration for the Swedish Chef apparently comes from some Berlitz tapes Jim Henson heard years ago.  So, get your facts straight you filthy American pig dogs, the Swedish Chef is not funny because he’s Norwegian so quit asking already!

Either way, the Chef should steer clear of Burlington, Vermont unless he wants to pay extra!  ABC News reports speaking in a foreign language in Burlington restaurants gets you the 18% gratuity usually reserved for large groups tacked on to your bill!  Apparently, the overworked staff in the Vermont town, which is situated 100 miles from Montreal, gets inundated with Canadian tourists in the summer who are notoriously bad tippers according to wait staff.

“Some Canadians come in, they spend like $100 or $150 and they leave the wait staff maybe a $1.00 tip,” says Sandy Kong, owner of the Asiana Noodle Shop, “It happens pretty often. I realize that the Canadians think it’s discrimination, but on all the receipts it’s printed out on bottom—’we suggest an 18 or 20 percent tip.’ ”  So, if you have any plans to visit Burlington in the near future be sure to keep your conversation in the King’s English, or as near to it as we Americans can usually muster and if you get slapped with a high gratuity, blame Canada!

Damn you Canadians with your lack of tips and flapping heads!

Damn you Canadians with your lack of tips and flapping heads!

Of course if finances keep you from frequenting dining establishments you don’t really have to worry about tipping.  However, if you’re visiting, living or working in the Denver area and decide to bring your lunch from home, make sure you don’t leave your bag in the park or the bomb squad could be called!  That’s what happened in Monument, Colorado where several streets were closed as police and the bomb squad had a standoff with what turned out to be a soft-sided lunch box containing a bottle of Gatorade.

You never know what could be lurking in strange packages!

Finally, whether indoors or out it seems dining in general can be dangerous to one’s health at least it is here in the good old Sunshine State, especially if you talk smack about someone’s mama!  Ten days ago two brothers were having dinner with their dad when one of them had some not so nice things to say about dear old mom.  The other brother didn’t take too kindly to the remarks and when the fight escalated to the point where one brother wailed on the other with a Styrofoam plate, the injured brother called the cops and had him arrested.

It had slipped Helen Keller’s mind that Anne Sullivan actually COULD understand what she’d signed about her mother!

So that’s today’s post mine damer og herrer!  I wish you a good day and hope this post is the extent of your brush with stupidity:)  Chow for now!